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Paying Homage To The Unsung Mothers on Mother's Day


woman holding a neon heart close to her heart

Mother's Day- the day of the year designated to the celebration of the Goddess who created you. The woman who carried you in her womb. The woman who birthed you into existence. The woman who fed you with her breasts, changed your diapers, bandaged your boo boos, protected you from the boogey man, cried at your wedding, encouraged you to be the best person you could be. A whole day to honor your Mom.


You see the commercials on the television depicting Happy moms, all dressed up, with their children and grandchildren all around them, spoiling them with handmade cards, and jewelry, and flowers, and gifts, on a perfect day of festivities. Restaurants are filled with families who have taken their mom out for breakfast, or brunch, on her special day. A precious ritual for the special role that this woman accepted before you were born.


Another perspective of Mother's Day is the Adoptive Mother, who never carried you to term, but met you when you were born, and has raised you as her own. You also have the Adoptive Mother, Step Mother, or Foster Mother, who, in some cases, never even experienced you as an infant or toddler, but met you later in your childhood, and has been working hard, trying to form a bond with you while she is helping to raise you.


Sometimes in life, for any of these perspective Moms, things don't go as quite as planned. Sometimes the Hallmark movie version of a family is not what you are experiencing in your own life and family. Sometimes the wheels fall off and the whole cart derails into a gigantic, burning pile of lost relations, hurt feelings, sadness, and depression. Family arguments, the divorce of the parents, the death of a child, a breakdown of communication, a failure to relate or bond- all of these things can, and do, happen. In many cases, a once celebrated Mother waits expectantly, hoping to hear from her children, but is ultimately left by herself, with nobody to celebrate her on her day. In other cases, Mom has mixed emotions of melancholy mixed with a subdued state of happiness, while celebrating a bittersweet Mother's Day with her surviving children. Other times, divorced Mothers, or Step Mothers, are left with only memories of the children they were once parenting, who have been pulled from their life by will, or by choice. The scenarios are endless of the unsung Mother.


Being, myself, an unsung, divorced, Adoptive Mother of an older child (a big mouthful!)- although I'm basically regarded more like a divorced Step Mother (long story), I have felt the pain that many women feel every year in May. I feel you! I have been through the years of hoping, the years of trying, and being angry, and sad, and frustrated. But something has changed. Now, at this stage in my life, I have been unsung long enough for the abject sadness to mellow into more of a resolve. And I have decided that it's time for me to celebrate myself! We don't have to wait for anybody to do it for us. We no longer have to hurt our own feelings by placing expectations on anybody else. We have done the work, and we are worthy of all of the celebrations. And a beautiful lesson for me is that my own experience has given me keen empathy for my own Mother- from all of those times that I have neglected her and have left her unsung. I celebrate you Momma!


Whether you have one child, have several children, or have lost a child. Whether you have birthed, adopted, or fostered. Whether your children acknowledge you or not. If you are a pet Mom, a plant Mom, or you help to nurture anything- today is your day! Own it and celebrate! Even if you have to do it on your own, you deserve to not let yourself be unsung!


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